Yasmine Tadross

As I stay within these walls, my perception takes hold stories become more confusing to tell identities more complex the dynamics alter As time goes on, the thought of you keeps coming though you are unavailable I still think about you How are you? What are you up to? How is your family? Every dynamic of you lingers through my brain Looking out the window, I see you smile and run around on light green grass with the dirt patch in the middle I light is shed upon you that fades everyone into black though you are unavailable and uncomfortable around me for whatever reason I still cherish the moments that we had the conversations over screens the moments that we smile at each other I scroll and swipe through your photos to see that you are great, life is treating you well I thank you for the moments that has caused me relief and agony comfort and invisibility From all this I have given myself something, Self-Determination

I am in a state of default  all that goes on  The fifty queer and Trans bodies of color that have been buried I take the dynamic and run with it What is there to run with though Each time a person from my community dies a part of me goes with them I sit and ponder for the lives that are next The validity of my life and all my Queer and Trans siblings of color People seek a war coming When we have been fighting in the middle of one Fight for our purpose and our lives constantly erased, targeted, and rather seen as dead  I want to live in a world  Where all bodies and identities are liberated  Where people can define their bodies on their terms and not by system