Pondering

As I stay within these walls,
my perception takes hold
stories become more confusing to tell
identities more complex
the dynamics alter
As time goes on,
the thought of you keeps coming
though you are unavailable
I still think about you
How are you?
What are you up to?
How is your family?
Every dynamic of you lingers through my brain
Looking out the window,
I see you smile and run around on light green grass
with the dirt patch in the middle
I light is shed upon you that fades everyone into black
though you are unavailable
and uncomfortable around me for whatever reason
I still cherish the moments that we had
the conversations over screens
the moments that we smile at each other
I scroll and swipe through your photos
to see that you are great, life is treating you well
I thank you for the moments that has caused me relief and agony
comfort and invisibility
From all this I have given myself something,
Self-Determination

Location: Santa Ana, CA, USA

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