Diary of a Mad Brown Trans Woman
I live in a world where the representation is greater than the reality,
My body is limited to my lipstick and a pill
that one injects every day
When neither is on me my body can't obtain the experience
My identity goes beyond a pussy hat
I have African Roots with the Arabic tongue
I hear the drums rain
And my grandmother's spicy foul medemas is in my blood
With our daily bread
When one can't find community,
They spend money that they don't have
because the only thing capitalism is good for is feeding off the lonely
I was born in a post 9/11 nonnormative female body
Where my lifespan does not go beyond the age of 24
Our image is only seen as five slashes and a gunshot to the head
and bliss is just an illusion
My liberation does involve going to a big city
Where white gay men think your obsessed with RuPaul's Drag Race
and your identity revolves around spending money on Maybelline cosmetics
When one can't find community,
You just grab the bits and pieces of yourself and formulate your own
To create a garden of people that is as colorful and vibrant
as the world that I hope for:
The world where I am my brown skin and womanhood is valid no matter what I where
because my identity goes beyond hormones and surgery
It is a forming reflection of my passing grandmother
who kept my family together even when the foundation was crumbling
her cooking and her touch helped me cope with my trauma
and her gift of making so much out of so little reflects the pain that I share with her
My body is limited to my lipstick and a pill
that one injects every day
When neither is on me my body can't obtain the experience
My identity goes beyond a pussy hat
I have African Roots with the Arabic tongue
I hear the drums rain
And my grandmother's spicy foul medemas is in my blood
With our daily bread
When one can't find community,
They spend money that they don't have
because the only thing capitalism is good for is feeding off the lonely
I was born in a post 9/11 nonnormative female body
Where my lifespan does not go beyond the age of 24
Our image is only seen as five slashes and a gunshot to the head
and bliss is just an illusion
My liberation does involve going to a big city
Where white gay men think your obsessed with RuPaul's Drag Race
and your identity revolves around spending money on Maybelline cosmetics
When one can't find community,
You just grab the bits and pieces of yourself and formulate your own
To create a garden of people that is as colorful and vibrant
as the world that I hope for:
The world where I am my brown skin and womanhood is valid no matter what I where
because my identity goes beyond hormones and surgery
It is a forming reflection of my passing grandmother
who kept my family together even when the foundation was crumbling
her cooking and her touch helped me cope with my trauma
and her gift of making so much out of so little reflects the pain that I share with her
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