Playing Independant

In moments when the printer get jammed with paper
I bang my head against the wall to numb the pain
The thoughts of certain people help me carry on through the day

To you,
Your blue eyes, thick black frame glasses, and brown hair
Sitting across from you on Saturday mornings drinking allowed me to be calm
when we say goodbye I always seem to extend the hug longer and hold onto you because I am afraid what it would be like when you're gone
I know we can never be more than friends
but, I think I like being friends
I know that whatever will happen, you will be with me
I just hope you feel the same about me

To my mothers, sisters, and siblings on the East Coast,
Thank you for being one of the few women to truly embrace me
From the baggage to the light blue lipstick
Dunkin Donut coffee runs
That brings joy to time that was an uphill battle
Fantasizing about what tiny house we should buy
and where in Colorado should we put
You all have shown me what unconditional love looks like
For what you all go through, your resilience and strength admire me
You both are women who I aspire to become
Women who display love to the kindest and cold hearted of people
All of you have given so much and I hope I gave you all the same

To all of you,
I am scared
I don't know how I am going to survive the next chapters of my life without each of your presence
I feel alone in this fight for what is my future
but I carry your thoughts with me
I know that I will see you all again soon in some way
I miss you all

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