The problems of student leadership


You are tokenized,
Once you occupy the margins, you are then seen as the prop
A puppet for diversity,
To show the University is making the changes necessary to be "inclusive and diverse"
speaking of the words, they are just a buzz word to replace racism, white supremacy and other systems that put people at the margins
They want all the colors of the rainbow, but without the substance
Speaking of substance, the students who work with you are complete shit heads
It is a throwback to high school, people expect too much from you and don't seem to mind their own fucking business.
It becomes a toxic environment when marginalized people are in the environment.
It becomes a competition of who is the most marginalized and who can be the better trans person or brown person or insert marginalized identity here.
I hated it and after quitting the job it has forced me to look at myself and what I want.
It is a first of many steps to happiness, but I need to figure out the next one. 
I specifically left because my heart was not in it, I have tried hard to make it work, communicate where I am at, discuss what I am feeling, and it left me drained.
I commend people who occupy those positions.

To the three people who have driven me fucking crazy,
You have all failed me in some way shape or form
I have been used as a prop to make yourselves feel better
I can no longer blame you
I take the blame for holding that anger in
to take over every fiber of my being
I just wanted to let you know that I forgive you and I am sorry
For holding all my anger against you
I hope that you start your process of showing up for yourselves
You get to sleep, breath, and feel whole
We deserve happiness, in whatever shape or form
 

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