Mom and Dad

Dear Mom and Dad,
I am sorry that I failed you
the vision that you have wanted for me
has now shattered into a million pieces of broken glass
laying on the brown scratched up dinner table.
we are trying to glue the pieces back together
going to the priest to pray everything away
reading the bible to yall like a bedtime story
going to church
growing out the beard
All to make sure that you love me

These facets I resonate with,
but I can't be something that you miss
the son that you have always wanted does not exist
I don't know what kind of person you all trying to bring back
this family is changing
You all are changing
my brother is changing
I am changing
You all have caused me so much pain
The constant checking of my texts, emails, and contacts
to make sure that I am still with the family
trying to tell me which friends are right by god
The constant use of food to make us overweight
the emotional labor that I do for all of you to feel secure
constantly blaming me for the reason why the family is shattered
instead of looking at yourselves
instilling the fear that no matter what I do,
nothing will be ever good enough

I am so angry at you
So many nights in which I can't sleep because I can't have a life outside of you
I forgive you
Though geographically spread out,
I have friends who love me for my past, present and future
I release you from the pain that has been engraved in your heart for generations
The devil is not at work here
I need to be me

Dear Mom and Dad,
I am me, whatever that may be
You have failed me,
but I can't blame you




Comments

  1. Jeune GalJuly 10, 2018 at 10:25 AM

    This poem gave me chills. This was so heartbreaking, but also empowering. I really love this one, and I love your writing and the language you use <3

    ReplyDelete

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