White Boy Obsession

I am so obsessed with Oblivious White boys
Just looking at there blue eyes, harry potter circular lenses, jean jackets, tattoo sleeves,
and their obsession with fair trade coffee alone gives me an orgasm
I wish that I could find one
use his white guilt to buy me a tiny house in Amherst, Massachusetts
and live at the rest of our days using our shit to create community gardens

I try to like all colors of the rainbow,
and I do, I really do
I have feelings for all people that are in my life
but I just have a soft spot for white boys
I am just colonized that way

It's really tough having feelings for them
because all of them don't find me desirable
I am not wifey material
I am sorry I can't be claimed
There just scared because a black hairy trans woman has ambition and can kick their ass from time to time.
Living in a world in which we glorify romantic relationships as the pinnacle and friendships as disposable,
I constantly feel alone,
I create sexual dreams of my friends that don't actually exist
and I feel my pain and everyone else's all at the same time

The white boy will find me
will love me for my past, present, and future; simultaneously
in the meantime, I have a relationship with all my friends
we share our feelings, hopes, dreams, and our failures
because every aspect that we all crave in a romantic relationship
I already have with individuals that I have in my life

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